20-year-old tells her 12-year-old orphan cousin the truth about his inheritance, enrages her mother who controls the cousins money

Am I the bad guy for talking finances with my 12 year old cousin three months after his parents passed?

I (20F) am studying abroad but am home for a few months. Three months ago my two cousins (12M and 4F) lost both parents. My mom (49F) is their legal guardian but because she works fulltime and taking care of my sick dad I’ve been doing most of the kid’s work.

I’ve helped them return to school, sleep, taking them to get paperwork done etc. the 4-year-old currently sleeps with me because she’s afraid to be alone. I’m kinda considering taking a year off uni because I’m not sure they’re ready for me to leave

There’s a decent insurance payout and a house they inherited through our grandma’s estate. The kid’s money and assets will be managed by my mom till they’re adults. But cause my mom’s busy, I’ve also been handling the financial side of things.

Recently I had a talk with my 12M cousin about his finances. I explained how much money he has from inheritence and insurance + how it’s divided between his sister and him. Basically the money from the insurance will be used for major expenses for them only (my parents and I are not capable of handling them) The estate will be sold eventually acc to grandma and the money will be deposited into a savings account for them. We will also be discussing the status of all his finances every few months so he knows where the money is being used and ask questions. All the small expenses/fun stuff, I’ll try to pay for with my money. All this is majorly because I’m leaving for college again soon.. (maybe?)

I’m not expecting him to manage it himself and I did not speak much to him about his sister’s finances because that shouldn’t be his burden. I just don’t want him turning 18 with no idea what assets he has or what happened to them. I’ll have this conversation with the littlest when she’s older.

Now the issue is that my mother is furious. She thinks that I crossed way too many lines and that I went behind her back. My cousin is too young and is grieving and should not be under the burden of saving money. And I'm stealing a part of his childhood from him and being very insensitive. However, while I trust my mother, I don't doubt that in an unexpected event, she would be willing to use the kids money for helping out. And I don't think that trust should be the only safeguard against such a large sum of money. The kids should know where THEIR money is.

The rest of my family is kinda mad too. My other cousins think this was an adults only matter. I’m currently persona non grata at family events. I did tell my mom id talk finance with my cousin but i don’t think she realised how literally I meant it? Our grandma’s the only one whose kinda on my side

I’m not from the US or Europe and filial piety is huge in my culture